Yesterday, a friend told me about her having problems with her husband, wich made me real sad cuz' they have a 4 year old child, it's hard to hear news like this every once in a while, so it seems that divorce is becoming a fashion, maybe it has always been there and we just started to notice when we go through our own experience, I can only speak of my own experience on this matter, I was 17 years in 1999 when my parents decided to end their marriage, it's not true that the older you are the more you understand why they're doing it, the only thing you understand is that it's not far and you become angry about the subject, remembering when I was a kid, I remember having a hard time getting along with my dad, it was a lot of stuff, being a teenager, my family, the favoritism my dad show for my little sister (things I couldn't fully understand at that time); it was a very hard time for me but the divorce in my case it was the best option my parents could have taken, people constantly called my house to tell my mom my dad was cheating on her, I remember fighting those people over the phone, when we finally decided to geto out of the house, we went to Veracruz (a 6 hour trip city near my own), my dad try to persuade my mom about leaving, but we did, we lived away for a full year, and my dad kept comming to see us very month, so then we decided to catch a plane to Hesperia Ca. in the US,
my time living there was the greatest, finish my highschool there, but most of all was just the 3 of us, putting aside all the thigs we lack, there was a full amount of love that my mom has always given to us, it ain't easy to be a mom and dad at the same time, but she pulled off with honors, being always fair, inteligent, with high priorities, she never place another man before us, and we love her for that, she has always support us, and not letting us ever to give up, she became my best friend, my ally, my mom, my teacher, my rock and my help.
Long time I lived angry at my dad, the idea of understanding him didn't fit right into my head, nor the idea of him leaving us, the fact that he never talked to me, or the lack of recognition of my goals, the fact that he was always putting us aside, blaming work, saying that he was tired, or hungry.
Today... things are still the same, my parents are still divorced, my dad keeps having another family and living with them, my mom still talks to him, and caring for him, today my dad still doesn't talk to me, and my sister is still his favorite, today I have a 10 year old brother called Sebastian, today my dad's only subject is work, the difference is that nothing of this hurts me anymore, my dad was like this before I was even born and I'm not the one who is going to change anything from him, my mom meet him like that and still she decided to spend her life with him, today I try to speak to my dad about work, try to understand my mom and support my sister.
There is something that worked for me, take it as an advice for all the mothers going through the same thing, my mom never talk ill about my dad,
the concept I had from my dad I created it by myself, and mom always brougth me back to reality, maybe as a husband he had failed, but he was trying to be better as a father, cuz' he was there, I just couldn't remember, he was the one who taught me algebra, he taught how to play basketball, taught me how to draw, he transmited me his love for music and movies, he did not teach me how to drink, smoke, or drug me, nor to be dishonest or lazy and I am thankful for that, my mom always made me see all of this in my dad, wich I'm begining to understand almost 10 years later, I have today a lot of things to face so I don't make the same mistakes they did, but nothing good will come to me by forgetting all of this.
We are a dysfuntional family, but a family at the end,
in this life things are not like in the movies, you don't fight with your couple and comes back and kiss you under the rain, they don't realize that the one they left you for it's not better than you and come back, you don't die and they regret leaving you, nothing of all of this has ever happend, only our family is always there to support us, like I once heard: "love is a pain in the ass, but it keeps us together" cuz' despite everything, I do love my family, no matter how they are, and even after death, mom and dad will always be mom and dad, and my sister will always be my sister, and they will always be there for me, no matter what.
Music transport us, feed us, brings us back memories, help us either enjoy or torture ourselves, to me music has been for a long time, a beacon, an escape from reality, a dream I don't want to wake up from, it has join me in my tears and my laugther, while I sleep and it's the first thing in the mourning, and the last thing I hear at night; it has marked up diferent phases in my life, at some point has helped me to overcome thing I never imagine I could live through, it has been a friend and an ally. But I'll like to let you know why music is all of this for me, it has been a beacon cuz' there is moments in my life where I feel disoriented, where once again I found myself on a new place, a place I don't belong, I feel uncomfortable, you are once again the new kid at school so to speak, who doesn't belong to society created before your arrival, and you found that openning, the song that you know and like, and you go on and adventure yourself into shering your thoughts of that song, giving you the entrance to lose your fear and shyness, 
an escape from reality, cuz' when I have been tired of my problems, all I need is to slip on my headphones, crank up the volume and picture myself in other place 
I travel to the moment I heard that song, to my middle school, where I can see those steps going down to get to the main courtyard, I can see again the worn out color on the walls, and the sound of the wind on the trees, I start to remember that times have been better before, and that I was able to enjoy them only so I can face the bad times with courage, it makes me remember the songs I sang to my girlfriends, it makes me able to see them again, in my mind, and remember "boy, she surely was beautiful". Music has been my companion, it has stood beside me in dark times, like when I broke up with my girlfriend, and when her memory came to my head I played Bobby McFerrin's "Don't worry be happy" to get that thoughts away from my mind and just move on, thinking nothing is ever worth that much suffering and everything is at some point getting back on track. Music it's the first thing I listen when I wake up, on my alarm clock and th last thing when i go to bed, cuz' I keep humming the last song I heard on the radio, it has marked up moments in my life, like the trips I made with my parents listening to "Buscando America" of Ruben Blades, or my grand dad parties listening to Hector Lavoe, or even feel like a grown up at my 12 years old litening to Molotov (laughts), I can still recall the day I meet the magic on The Beatles blue and red album, or in high school when I sang "in my life" in fron to the clasroom for my english class, I remember singing "Kiss the girl" from The Little Mermaid to my girl while dancing on the sidewalk outside her house; 
it has helped me get depressed when I allow her, and want my tears to gather in my eyes thinking the cause of all my problems, when I lost all the colors and see all in black and white and I want it to stay that way, that's when she helps me with songs such as "Obokuri Eeumi" wich ironically it's a love song, but it shows a sad love, so as you can realize by now, music has been next to me since I can recall, is the friend that never failed me, that never judged me, that joggs with me in the mourning, and doesn't get jelous of any girl I look, never fights with me, and has always something new to offer me. 
So think for a moment, turn arround and watch closely your playlist, and then try to think where and when did you heard that song your listening right now, allow yourself to remember some important moments on your life, that today you have forgotten, just listen to it and let it take you to your past, try live it again...
